The Road to Motherhood: A Story of Health and Transformation

Elikem’s Choice to Stay Single
The Mask of Strength

Elikem was 38 years old. She worked as a midwife, helping women give birth. She had welcomed many babies into the world, but the idea of being pregnant herself made her nervous. She had seen too much. The memories of women struggling during childbirth stayed with her. To Elikem, her work wasn’t just a job. It showed her how fragile life could be. Colleagues respected Elikem because she stayed calm in emergencies. One time, she saved a mother and baby’s life when the doctor arrived late. Everyone trusted her skills. But inside, Elikem had fears she didn’t share with anyone.

Fear and Professionalism: Seeing the Risks
Elikem loved her job, but it also made her scared. Pregnancy and childbirth were amazing, but they came with risks. She had seen families come with hope, only to leave heartbroken. For every happy moment, there were also losses. These risks weren’t just ideas. They were real. She had seen problems like bleeding, babies born dead, and mothers losing their lives. She often thought, “What if this happened to me? What if I couldn’t raise my child?” Staying childless seemed like the safest choice. The choice to remain single: A Life of Choices In her late 20s, Elikem focused on her career. She had relationships, but they didn’t last because she was afraid of having children. She wanted a partner who understood her fears. In Ghana, that seemed impossible. Many here believe marriage and children are very important. By 38, Elikem’s single life became a quiet choice for independence. But it wasn’t easy. At family events, people whispered about why she was still single. Some said she cared too much about her job. Others judged her harshly.

Have you ever felt pressure to follow a certain path in life? How did youhandle it?

The Weight of Stigma: Society’s Expectations

People’s words hurt. Some thought Elikem’s work travels meant she was hiding something. Even her half-sister mocked her, saying her success
was just a way to hide her failures. One memory stayed with her. Elikem visited her hometown during her annual leave. She sent one of the neighbours children to buy her tomato paste from the neighbourhood shop. The mother got upset. She blamed Elikem for being childless, saying, “You should go and have your own baby, not just give advice.” These moments made Elikem question her choices and her worth. The Breaking Point: A Morning of Tears One day, at the market, the town drunk man loudly declared his love for her. It wasn’t the first time something like this happened, but this time it was too much. Elikem thought about her younger self—confident and full of dreams. How had her life reached this point? She cried openly, letting out years of pain. She mourned the dreams she had left behind and the loneliness she felt. But through her tears, she found strength. Her story wasn’t over. Elikem decided to take control of her life again and find new meaning in her choices.

What Can You Relate To?
● The Pressure to Be Strong: Do you feel like you have to hide your struggles to appear strong? Elikem’s story shows it’s okay to share your fears. You’re not alone.
● Self-Reflection: Have you thought about your own emotional health? Reflecting on your feelings can help you grow and find peace with your fears.
● Breaking the Silence: It’s difficult to be “perfect” all the time. Silence can make things worse. Take a moment to talk to a friend or give yourself some time to heal. Remember, healing takes time. Why Elikem’s Story Matters to you
● For High-Income Countries:
○ Success is often measured by career and family life. Women,
especially those with demanding jobs, may feel pressure to
“have it all.” Are you balancing similar pressures?
● For Low-Resource Settings:
○ In cultures that value family, being single or childless can
feel isolating. Have you faced similar judgments? Elikem’s
story shows the importance of following your own path.
What You Can Do Today
1. Care for Your Mental Health: Take time to check how you’re
feeling. Are you overwhelmed by others’ expectations? Spend time
on self-care—whether it’s talking to a friend, going for a walk, or
doing something you enjoy.
2. Challenge Stigmas: Do you know someone facing these
challenges? Show your support. Share this story with them to
remind them they’re not alone.
3. Seek Help When Needed: Elikem didn’t face her challenges
alone, and you shouldn’t either. Talk to someone—a counselor,
therapist, or trusted friend. Speaking up is a big step toward
healing.
In the next chapter, Elikem meets Komla, a man who challenges her
belief about staying single. His persistence forces Elikem to face her
fears about love, motherhood, and the future. Will she take a leap into
the unknown?
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